In honour of Father's Day I thought now might be a nice time to give Baby Daddy a platform to speak!
'As it’s Father’s Day I’ve been asked by Queen Plum herself to write a guest blog for Today’s Entry.
I thought long and hard about what I would write about. Should I write about a series of funny anecdotes about mood swings and cravings? Should I write about my fears of the the incoming life changing event that draws nearer? No. I actually want to talk about Mothers (on Father’s Day, obviously)
Now, if one thing has become abundantly clear to me in the last 7 months, it is the fact that practically everything, as a boy, you are taught about pregnancy and child birth is a massive lie. I went into this feeling like I knew my way around a trimester, but I do not.
‘A Woman is pregnant for 9 months’ : LIE! I found out early on that the fundamental fact all boys are given in those gender divided sex ed class is indeed incorrect! I learnt that in fact a woman counts the start of her pregnancy from day one of her cycle meaning she is actually pregnant for 10 months! This also means (in my man brain) that technically every woman in the world is 3 weeks pregnant every month! (NB I know this isn’t true….but it becomes true if you conceive).
Another little tit bit Miss White, English teacher turned sex ed guru, failed to inform me is that the process of child birth is basically, a like for like remake of every body horror movie in existence. Women’s abdominal muscles literally TEAR APART and move to the side to make room for the plum. When I learnt about this I had to have a 5 min rest period just thinking about it let alone actually experiencing it. Whilst we are on the subject of horror movies, any of you that think seeing a baby moving around in there is beautiful and magical, are obviously not as big a Alien fan as I!!!!
I think the thing that frustrates myself most (and I'm sure Emma too) is the fact that through all these aches, pains, changes and uncomfortableness there is nothing I can do to help. I don’t know about other Dads but I feel such guilt knowing that, at least physically, up till now my life really hasn’t changed to much. I can still eat and drink what I want, go where i want, stay up late and sleep comfortably, yet my best friend and usual partner in crime cannot! Should I stop doing these things as a mark of solidarity or should I enjoy them while I can knowing that soon, my immature life isn’t conducive with the challenges I’ll face. It’s like the Dad’s of the world get a weaning off/growing up period whilst all the Mums have to go cold turkey and as part of a relationship thats always been based on equality I can't help thinking this just isn't very fair.
So with that said, I'll sign off, from all of the fathers of the world, thank you mothers for doing all the things we honestly could never do!'
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